I feel sorry for the half and half scarf sellers. #saintsfc #hcfc #boro #spygate
— TractorSaint (@TractorSaint) May 19, 2026
So Hull play Boro at 3:30pm and then in Royal Rumble style fashion, Southampton enter the pitch at 4:30pm and turns into a triple Threat match https://t.co/FLIIlfqXrr
— Joe (@Joe__Monty) May 20, 2026
Stop doing your work emails on the train out of your contracted hours unless you are specifically being paid to do so. You are giving your employer free labour. Read a fucking book.
— Anon Opin. (@anon_opin) May 16, 2026
I will explain and clarify anything pic.twitter.com/Gs1mMQeEF5
— ✨emily ✨ (@itsembish) May 16, 2026
Don't let anyone talk you out of buying that 1 book at the bookstore. Those 3 books could be the most life-changing 10 books you've ever gotten.
— Penguin Books USA (@penguinusa) May 17, 2026
The only reason we have Vivaldi's music (of 4 seasons fame) is because some guy in the early 1900s found it in the basement of a monastary. Before that it was lost for 200 years! https://t.co/JcZzmHAJGu
— Will I Am – e/acc (@SouthernWintrs) May 16, 2026
That’s a great shout. Get Sam Ryder back for the diarrhoea high note at the end 👌
— Ginge ish (@DeanoB24) May 17, 2026
You should not be allowed to sit in the front row of the top deck of the bus and look at your fucking phone. Staring out the window should be compulsory.
— Anon Opin. (@anon_opin) May 17, 2026
Just found out the nurse at our niece's school is a raging feminist. How? She called THE DAD to update our son’s medical information for the year , In the middle of the work day and asked specifically what medication he took. I could kiss her.
— jezz (@JezziiB) May 17, 2026
This is the kind of micro-feminism…
My grandfather said he’d never move into a retirement home.
— Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 (@MikeBales) May 17, 2026
He said, “Too expensive… and the food tastes like someone boiled sadness.”
Instead, he checked into a beachfront hotel.
We asked, “Grandpa, isn’t that even more expensive?”
He smiled and said, “Not really.…
Great airline at juxtaposing prices to get in to World Cup games versus actually flying to country. pic.twitter.com/Jq2a4FLo0i
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) May 14, 2026
Comedy palate cleanser. Robert Jenrick about to grandstand but reminded of his defection from one party to another this year is gold. The timing. First line great. Second line superb but crowd not recovered from the first to fully appreciate it 😊 pic.twitter.com/G0yaVYfjQU
— Omid Djalili (@omid9) May 19, 2026
If you've got an opinion you want on here – submit it to the form: https://t.co/n9mULJELYu pic.twitter.com/mOBOtYk3CE
— Anon Opin. (@anon_opin) May 19, 2026
Yesterday the Prime Minister's team won the Premier League for the first time in two decades, today the Prince of Wales' team won a trophy for the first time in three decades; anyone know who King Charles supports? https://t.co/yvHA8FvWFO
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 20, 2026
What are the odds Trump is seen on a golf course this weekend? pic.twitter.com/kfMPGEZdm3
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) May 22, 2026
Wetherspoons isn't a pub, its a fast food chain that sells beer.
— Anon Opin. (@anon_opin) May 22, 2026
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?